Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
