I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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