What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
