i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
