Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
