that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
