Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
even my farts smell like vagina
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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