I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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