She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I have post one night stand depression
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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