You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
