is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
