i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
