They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
