I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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