at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I have aggressive nipples.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
