new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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