This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
