The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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