We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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