she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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