Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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