Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
