even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
