he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
