I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
