I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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