another moral hangover. fuck.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
