if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.