Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I think I can smell my own vagina right now

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(334): View more from Alabama

I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(240): View more from Maryland

We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.

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(607): View more from New York

Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.

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