I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.