Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
