I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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