I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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