did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
