Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
