There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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