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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
