I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
That accounts for only three of the penises
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize