He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize