its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam š
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Thanks for going with me today. Itās been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
Itās called āshopping for lingerieā and itās one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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