I'm passing your future prison.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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