i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
