she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
