So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
