sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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