My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
