It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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