So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
This is my gift to your gina
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
