So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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