butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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