I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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