if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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