Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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