I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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