I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
