it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
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You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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