I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
